Nothin' But Trouble
by BeyondBirthday'sBestie
Summary: CRACKFIC. "That Lawliet boy ain't nothin' but trouble," Machi plays Paw, Matt plays Maw, and Kitty is the blossoming teenager in love with L Lawliet. This has been approved by Morgan Freeman and Hades. NOT LxMATT


A/N: Machi, you are my paw. I must obey you...*sighs* and that Lawliet boy is nothin' but trouble. *shakes head*

Disclaimer: I do not own any crack.

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Machi rocked back and forth in her rocking chair, chewing the wheat in her mouth like a cow chewing on grass. Her shotgun rested beside her, and the cleaning tools to go with it. She had to keep it in tip-top shape, just in case those Wammy boys gave her trouble again...(the mailbox had been lost in the tragic accident.) Tipping her hat, the brunette gazed at the setting sun, a breeze rolling through her fields. She could smell the effort in the air...

By the angle of the sun, Machi assumed it was about 8 p.m, since they had no watches or clocks to speak of in their home. Sighing, she began to let the worry about her daughter sink in. She had said she was going down into the rural town to have a sodypop with her other lady friends, but Machi knew better. She snapped the wheat with her teeth, grinding her teeth together.

"Machi, honey, are you coming in some time soon? It's gettin' mighty cold out and I don't need yal catchin' a cold," Machi turned her head to see her lover, Matt, enter through the screen door that slammed with a loud 'bang'. He was wearing an apron, rubbing his hands in it. It was covered with foods and sauces and flour, the cutest determined look on his face. The red head placed his hand on Machi's shoulder, looking out into the fields ahead of them.

"She ain't home yet. She's out with a boy, I reckon," Machi muttered, reaching for the shiny gun that glared at her from the corner of her vision. Wiping it down with a rag cloth, she continued to brood in her chair. Matt jutted out his lip in a pout, femininly placing his hands on his thin hips.

"Oh, paw, you need to be more understandin', she's growin' up and learning about all that stuff. You gotta get used to it," Matt lovingly kissed Machi's cheek, grasping the handle of the screen door once more.

"When she gets home, I better not catch yal harrasin' her, ya hear?" Machi rolled her eyes and continued to pay more attention to her shot gun than to Matt as he entered their farm house once more. The sun continued to dip below the horizon, and within minutes, a rusted truck made it's way down the road. It began to slow, and it finally reached the Jeevas house hold before stopping outside it. Machi began to tense, popping the gun back into place and placing her finger above the trigger.

A blonde, vibrant young woman stepped out of the truck along with a dark haired young man, both holding hands and looking at each other lovingly.

"I sure did have a swell time, Lawli," Kitty stood in the front yard of her home, not noticing her paw, who sat and glared daggers at the couple.

"Me too..." Nervously, L began to swing the pair of hands in his, "You're a great gal," Kitty smiled at the raven haired boy and leaned in on her tippy toes to him.

"Thanks," Kissing his cheek, the blonde continued, "But I best get goin'. I gotta get back before my maw throws a fit," Racing off to the porch, Kitty waved as she ran and watched L do the same. The teen giggled girlishly, making her way to the dimly lit porch, going for the door before hearing the sound of her paw's shotgun, shooting a bullet into the air.

"Scram, boy! Don't make me come over there!" The brunette yelled out at the boy in the front yard, causing him to jump and make a B-line for his truck. As quickly as he could, he drove away, Kitty watching in horror.

"PAW! What are yal doin'?!" She cried, throwing her hands in the air. Machi calmly placed another wheat straw into her mouth and sat back in her chair, rocking once further.

"Warnin' 'im," Kitty shook her head.

"Paw, you gotta be nice! He's a nice boy, I'm tellin' yal--"

"That Lawliet boy is nothin' but trouble, and you know it!"

"Just 'cuz he's different don't mean nothing! He's gonna be a de-tect-ive some day, and I was even thinking about joining him," Machi nearly choked on the wheat in her mouth, her eyes wide and her mouth slacked.

"WHAT?!"

"You heard me! I'm thinkin' 'bout movin' to the big city, where they got lights and e-lec-tricity!" The blonde persisted, pushing on and on.

"That ain't the way me and your maw raised you, and you don't dare talk back to your paw!" Pushing off her chair, Machi stood and defiantly made her way towards her daughter.

"I don't wanna work on the farm, paw! I'm tired of it! I wanna do something new and big! (-Sorry, but that's what she said-) It's a bolded new world out there, and boys and girls is holdin' hands and kissin' with their lips! I've even done that once..." Pure shocked was plastered to Machi's face when she heard the news that her own daughter had been lip kissing. Her face contorted and her eye twitched. Kitty knew then that she had crossed the line.

"...You...are never goin' out with that Lawliet boy ever again. He's a bad influence on you! You are NOT gonna be a dang-flabbited de-tect-ive, and you will not be goin' out without my permission, ya hear? Now go to yer room and you best be studyin'! GET!" Without a moments notice, the blonde stormed into her shack-of-a-house, slamming the door with as much strength as she had. Machi took a deep breath, putting her gun down and setting it against the siding of the house. She sat down tiredly, pushing her hat up with her thumb.

"Now, look what ya gone and done, Mach. She's up their cryin' her eyes out," Matt nearly silently sat himself down in Machi's lap, stroking her hair and trying to look upset.

"She don't need a denim wearin', witch-craft haired boy. Dag nabbit, why's she gotta grow up so fast?" Machi forced herself to wipe away oncoming tears, sniffling and crossing her arms. Matt smiled lovingly, rolling his eyes and laying his head on her shoulder.

"You used to be like her...she's her paw's girl,"

"Yeah..." Machi looked into the sky, the first stars starting to twinkle brightly, "...I guess so..."

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IT SUCKED! But it's a crack fic. It doesn't HAVE to be good. Inspired by xXTheRuffianHadesXx texting me at 10 at night. :) It was wonderful. I laughed until it hurt to breathe, too. Thanks for reading, weirdos.


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